• 回复
  • 收藏
  • 点赞
  • 分享
  • 发新帖

笑话

>  那天我在宿舍听广播,听到一个很小的女孩子给她的妈妈点歌,她说她的妈妈很辛  
>  苦,星期天也不能休息,要到书店买好多习题集给她做,于是她就想为她的妈妈点  
>  一                                                                        
>  首歌.主持人一听,感动的说‘多懂事的孩子啊.请问你想为你的妈妈点什么歌?小
>  女                                                                        
>  孩用稚气的声音说‘我想点辛晓琪的“女人何苦为难女人”                        
>                                                                            
>  雨点(女,两岁半,幼儿园小小班小朋友)                                    
>                                                                            
>  雨点只有两岁半,是幼儿园小小班的小朋友.这天小小班同学玩游戏,老师把一    
>  篮积木倒在桌上让小小班的朋友们自由发挥.只见雨点把积木在自己面前排成一横  
>  排,然后向前一推,嘴里喊着:“我胡了!”                                    
>                                                                            
>  小多(男,四岁,幼儿园中三班小朋友)                                      
>                                                                            
>  小多与妈妈上街,结果妈妈把宝宝丢了.小多哭着问街上的叔叔阿姨:“有没有看  
>  见我妈妈?我妈妈身边带着一个小胖子!!”                                  
>                                                                            
>  安安老师(幼儿园中三班女老师)                                            
>                                                                            
>  安安老师的男朋友今天来幼儿园看安安老师,小朋友们见有人来,都急着去表      
>  功,一起跑到安安老师面前大喊:“老师,老师,你爸爸接你来了.”众老师晕倒.  
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟(男,四岁,幼儿园中三班小朋友)                                      
>                                                                            
>  ◆                                                                        
>                                                                            
>  妈妈让嘟嘟帮着晾衣服,嘟嘟却只顾在院子里看一群蚂蚁搬虫子.妈妈便教育他    
>  说:                                                                      
>  “你看蚂蚁多勤劳,从不浪费时间去玩耍.嘟嘟很不服气地说:“不过我每次到郊外  
>  去                                                                        
>  旅行,总会遇到它们的.”                                                  
>                                                                            
>  ◆小毛虫和妈妈                                                            
>                                                                            
>  今天天气真好,连小毛虫们都跑出来玩啦.嘟嘟挺神气地让安安老师看他手上爬    
>  着的一条蠕动的毛虫.可安安老师一见毛虫就全身发抖,赶紧连哄带劝地说了句逗  
>  小                                                                        
>  孩子玩的话:“快把它弄到外面去吧,它妈妈一定在找它哩.”嘟嘟转身跑出教      
>  室,安                                                                    
>  安老师这才松了口气.谁知嘟嘟一小会儿后又进来了,手臂上爬着两条毛虫,对安  
>  安                                                                        
>  老师说:“老师,我把虫妈妈也接来了.”                                      
>                                                                            
>  ◆嘟嘟语录                                                                
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟成长心得:如果想要买贵的玩具,告诉爷爷比告诉爸爸要好.                
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟的理想:如果我长大以后是个女的,就去当医生;如果长大了是个男的,我    
>  就当工程师.                                                              
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟三岁时对恋爱的看法:我们家都是亲戚才谈恋爱的,像我爷爷和奶奶,舅舅    
>  和舅妈都是亲戚.                                                          
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟五岁时的两年计划:等我读完幼儿园,就得开始考虑为自己找个老婆.        
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟最羞愧的往事:有一天下午实在是太疲倦了,在幼儿园大便时不知不觉就睡    
>  着了.                                                                    
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟打败爸爸:爸爸骂嘟嘟:“你这么笨,真是个小猪猡!知不知道小猪猡是什    
>  么?”                                                                    
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟:“知道,它是猪的儿子.”                                              
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟对妈妈很不屑:妈妈:“留神别吃到苹果里的虫子哟!”嘟嘟:“为什么要我留  
>  神?该它留神我才是!”                                                    
>                                                                            
>  ◆你办事我放心                                                            
>                                                                            
>  公园的椅子上坐着一个老奶奶,正在草坪上和小朋友们玩的嘟嘟突然跑过来问:    
>  “婆婆,您的牙还行吗?”老奶奶和蔼地回答:“已经不行了,都掉了.”于是嘟嘟放  
>  心                                                                        
>  地拿出一包胡桃,说:“请婆婆替我拿一拿,我去打球.”                        
>                                                                            
>  今天小叔叔来家里,看见嘟嘟正坐在地上认真地摆弄积木,便随口问他:“你们老  
>  师给不给你们上音乐课?”嘟嘟回答说:“当然啦!安安老师上周还教我们唱《小鸭  
>  子》.”小叔叔想考考他,就让嘟嘟唱一首最新学的歌来听听.嘟嘟想了想,似乎有
>  点                                                                        
>  儿茫然,片刻之后,他忽然扭腰摆dian、十分买力地唱到:“最心爱的女人,却伤害
>  我                                                                        
>  最深,为什么你背着我爱别人……”小叔叔目瞪口呆.                            
>                                                                            
>  ◆音乐细胞=0                                                              
>                                                                            
>  为了培养嘟嘟的艺术修养,爸爸带他到音乐厅欣赏小提琴演奏会.一小时,两小    
>  时过去了,台上的演奏者依然在不停地演奏……最后,嘟嘟实在是忍无可忍啦,他大  
>  声                                                                        
>  问:“爸爸!他要到什么时候才能把那个木盒子锯开?”爸爸晕倒.                
>                                                                            
>  ◆自由的小孩                                                              
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟吵着要妈妈给他买一个小猪储蓄罐,妈妈逗嘟嘟玩,问他攒了钱后先要买什    
>  么, 嘟嘟很兴奋地告诉妈妈他要去买卫生棉.“买什么?!”妈妈睁大了眼睛,以为
>  自                                                                        
>  己听 错 了.嘟嘟回答:“买卫生棉呀!电视上常常说,只要使用卫生棉,就可以倒
>  立,可以骑脚踏车,可以划船,还可以自由自在的在游泳池里游泳……”妈妈晕倒!  
>                                                                            
>  ◆老虎阿姨                                                                
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟吵着让爸爸带他去看马戏.爸爸懒洋洋地靠在沙发里一百个不情愿动,打着    
>  哈欠说:“不行啊,儿子,我没时间.”嘟嘟说:“听小朋友说,马戏团里有一位不穿
>  衣                                                                        
>  服的阿姨在老虎身上跳舞.”爸爸想了想,说:“那好吧,咱们一起去,我很久没有  
>  看                                                                        
>  老虎了.”                                                                
>                                                                            
>                                                                            
>  ◆受欢迎的小孩                                                            
>                                                                            
>  过六一节了,小朋友们联欢,大家都表演节目.吴旋旋最厉害了,上台表演弹钢    
>  琴,演奏完后下面看节目的爸爸妈妈们都一直在喊,要她再弹一个.安安老师就问  
>  旋                                                                        
>  旋要不要再弹一首,结果旋旋急得快要哭出来:“我又没有弹错,为什么还要我再弹
>  一                                                                        
>  次?”                                                                    
>                                                                            
>
全部回复(0)
正序查看
倒序查看
现在还没有回复呢,说说你的想法